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Danzig To Sue Everyone On Earth

I would do further research to see if this is fake, but I am kind of okay with believing it to be real. I like crazy people.

The Tyranny of Tradition

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You’ve probably heard of him before. He’s part wolf, part lion, part ubermensch.  He is possibly the most evolved being in human history. He is Glenn Danzig and He is suing you.

In a stunning declaration of war against the entire human race, Glenn Danzig has filed a lawsuit in Manhattan Federal Court against over seven billion human beings. Danzig, who is acting as his own attorney, claimed in one of the over 40 billion documents brought into court by an entire fleet of Federal Express trucks that “He has been done wrong by everyone including Misfits bassist Jerry Only, German Chancellor Angela Merkel, actor Eli Wallach, NFL quarterback Sam Bradford, Frank Oz (the voice of Yoda) and everyone else on this godforsaken planet.”

While some of the suits have been thrown out by the Court as frivolous, over two and a half billion cases will be heard over…

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