Craptastic / Office Drone

Hooray for Bank Holidays!

Except I am writing this from the office, and I work on the 1st of every month which is this Sunday, and NO ONE IN THIS COUNTRY KNOWS WHAT A BANK HOLIDAY IS.

I believe it is the last bit that confuses me the most.  Also, why is being accused of being Canadian a “thing” in the US?  Like, I  should be offended by how I pronounce my “o”s?  If you are confused, that is fine, but Canada is totally awesome.  Like, I didn’t have the BEST time in Quebec (I should totally tell you all that story some time), but Alberta is goddamn gorgeous.  Also, the people that DIDN’T yell at me angrily in a bar but that I talk to online from Quebec are also awesome.  Also, don’t go to bars with people you barely know because they will act a fool and everyone will think you are just like them and you will be sideswiped by the hate.

I learned recently that when you take sedatives (like my beloved Xanax), you should practice weaning yourself down occasionally so you don’t build up a tolerance.  I knew this was true with drugs commonly used for recreation, which is why I declined the habits because that shit gets expensive.  I think I thought Xanax was in a magical little land of compounds that don’t do that to you.

Anyway, my cycle is generally 1-3 on weekends and 4-6 on weekdays so I have not had to worry about the whole tolerance thing at all.  But in April I got a promotion (YAY) and got to graduate from clock-punching monkey to just show up and work monkey.  The downside is now expectations are higher, but no expectation is as high as MINE because I am a little bit unbalanced (see, sedatives).  So I have been working weekends, or worrying about work on weekends, or dreaming about work, or making nice little lists of work I need to do on Monday on weekends, and then going “HOLY FUCK, I NEED TO CLEAN THE HOUSE” on Sundays at 7:30 PM.   So there has really been no difference between intake at work and intake at home.  Yesterday (a Friday) I suddenly realized I had taken another pill just one hour after the first “work” pill.  I felt briefly like I do when my World of Warcraft characters level up and then realized that was just a wee bit sad.

Another body has been hired at the office of doom, so I think after this next month, I may take some time off.  By that time, training should have occurred and I won’t feel like a horrible person for having a very long week at home spent tapering off of medication and watching Halloween cartoons wrapped up in a blanket, drinking tea, and petting the hell hounds.  They will surely be happy to have opposable thumbs at their beck and call for door opening services and treat giving and inner ear scratching.  Also, napping with little black dogs snoring on top of you is a wonder drug I wish I could bottle and sell to people because that is the pinnacle of happiness and relaxation.  I would make it free to all my Gothy friends though.  Bats flocking together and whatnot.

So, anyway, sedatives are awesome if you need them but you can build up a tolerance and then your bottle that was supposed to be good for a month is depressingly empty by the 25th.  If you did not know this, now you do!  This is like a big PSA and also a sort of post it note of stories I should totally tell you because I was totally the Ugly American by Association in Canada and THAT would also be an amazing PSA.

Oh!  If I take time off, I could totally post recipes and what not.  Give this sucker some variety!  Although I might just OD on Tim Burton and Movie Macabre.

6 thoughts on “Hooray for Bank Holidays!

    • I am that way with certain drugs. Cocaine was a BLISSFUL experience that I did not seek to repeat because I knew that road would probably end badly. Also, see pain pills. Wee for poppies!!! But, no, bad.

      I think having the doctor moderate me and my intake has been hugely successful. I don’t think I could do what I currently do for a living if I persisted without seeking a doctor. The work is too pressuring and fiddly.

  1. Xanax is heavy addictive stuff, and should only be used in emergencies. Taking them continuously throughout the day, every day, is a recipe for disaster. Who on earth prescribed it to be used that way? Adding a drug addiction to your problems is a bad idea. You really should be on something else, like SSRI or Wellbutrin

    • Oh, no, I do have an antidepressant, but the Xanax is prescribed to control my (additional) anxiety disorder. If I did not take them the way I do, I would not be able to work. I have that, my antidepressant, and various mental exercises that I do throughout my day. This is certainly not a “take for fun” situation. Also, even with the AMOUNT of pills, the dosage is still in a very acceptable range for a female of my age.

      OCD and anxiety disorders tend to go hand in hand, and mine play off each other. If I am too anxious, then all my OCD “ticks” get ramped up to 11. The combination of the two of them made it increasingly impossible to work until I broke down and saw a doctor.

      This is actually my second doctor who manages my dosages better. The first one was a very poor experience and a good lesson that: if your doctor does not listen to how you feel, then find a new one.

      • I understand that you have anxiety issues and I’m sorry it’s hard. And it’s probably different in the States, but over here (Sweden) doctors are very careful to prescribe benzos. At least not until you’ve tried your way through several other anti-anxiety drugs – like different antihistamines, Alimemazine, Pregabalin and different SSRI’s. And even then, they are only considered a short-term solution, and not to be taken daily. Though, you might already have tried all these 🙂

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