Sooo…Wordpress has this thing that I just noticed (because I blog because my husband, boss, and coworkers are tired of hearing this shit all day long so I save some of it to tell the dark internets and some of you even like it so WOO SUCK IT NON-BELIEVERS OTHER PEOPLE THINK LIKE THIS TOO!!) which tells you what phrases people Googled to stop on by. I just noticed it because I do not blog for money or popularity so this tool is meaningless. UNTIL TODAY.
Today it has added comedy gold.
Other than lots of people Googling who the Misanthropic Bitch was (hint, she/he/it is GONE don’t worry about it anymore) this phrase apparently brought the boys to my yard: big fat hair pissing women.com.
I don’t THINK I have written about going to the loo in these pages, because all ladies do is wash their hands (sometimes for a very long time but that is all we are doing STOP LISTENING AT THE DOOR, PERV!), but sometimes I forget to take my meds and my memory gets all wonky. I also start screaming a lot and pacing which has become a dead on hint for Sacco to hand them to me and suggest I may enjoy a nap.
Any way, if you pee hair then I think you should have a licensed doctor check that out because that could be from the twin you had but swallowed in the womb and I bet when the doctor operates they will totally find a set of teeth and a spinal cord in what you thought was just a fat roll.
Or you just trimmed your bush and did not comb it all out. Invest in a tiny bush comb. Or wax. Or let that shit jungle up and say you are channeling 70’s porn.
I hope this helped you, Google searcher.
P.S. My office may have received a Youtube video of someone lancing a boil, and then retaliated with infamous “two girls, one cup” and we are now all sort of afraid of what is going to come into our e-mail boxes next. How do you top that video? We REALLY do not want to know and are also REALLY happy we work for an independent company because if we worked in corporate America we would have all been fired about two years ago. And we apparently do not know the meaning of “gradual escalation”. “Two girls, one cup” is like the nuclear bomb of gnarly videos in response to a pot shot with a red rider BB gun. We are sick.