Office Drone

An Open Letter

Dear Gentlemen in Cars Who Idle in My Office’s Parking Lot,

Do you mind if I wonder what you are doing every lunch hour?  Do you mind if I tell you that the fancy call girls do not make car-calls but house and hotel room calls?  Do you mind if I tell you your drug deal is so obvious it makes me giggle?  Do you mind if I let you know I can pass baggies for cash with more grace and subtlety?

Why my lot, dear boys?  It is rather barren on a weekday noon hour.  There are no cars to hide next to.  There is no activity to blend with.

Why are you stealing our Wi-Fi from your car?  Don’t you know you can come inside?  We have a lovely lobby and do not tend to pester people who are dressed well and act normally.   We all giggle when “King of Porn” shows up on our lists; you could come into the A/C.

Dear Lady with the Short Skirt and the Webcam on the Floor,

We DO mind you very much.  Children are here.  I may swear like a sailor, but even I know what the word decorum means.  Do that expensive Skype session behind a closed door somewhere.

Also, how much do you charge  per call?  We have a bit of a poll going on over here.


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