Dear Gentlemen in Cars Who Idle in My Office’s Parking Lot,
Do you mind if I wonder what you are doing every lunch hour? Do you mind if I tell you that the fancy call girls do not make car-calls but house and hotel room calls? Do you mind if I tell you your drug deal is so obvious it makes me giggle? Do you mind if I let you know I can pass baggies for cash with more grace and subtlety?
Why my lot, dear boys? It is rather barren on a weekday noon hour. There are no cars to hide next to. There is no activity to blend with.
Why are you stealing our Wi-Fi from your car? Don’t you know you can come inside? We have a lovely lobby and do not tend to pester people who are dressed well and act normally. We all giggle when “King of Porn” shows up on our lists; you could come into the A/C.
Dear Lady with the Short Skirt and the Webcam on the Floor,
We DO mind you very much. Children are here. I may swear like a sailor, but even I know what the word decorum means. Do that expensive Skype session behind a closed door somewhere.
Also, how much do you charge per call? We have a bit of a poll going on over here.