Don't Panic

Protocol of the Night

4:45 PM:  Gee a nap sounds REALLY nice, what with it being a holiday and all.

4:50 PM:  Fuck, can’t nap have laundry to do.  Do laundry as nudity is not in the office dress code.  Or yours really.  My milkshakes stay covered until I want them uncovered, ya’ll.

6:00 PM:  Download a new book to Kindle.  Devour book.  Watch in amazement as the new puppy brings every. Single. Dog Toy. In the House.  Onto the damn bed.

6:30 PM:  Move some dog toys.  Disbelieving stares and hilarity ensue.

7:00 PM:  Sacco mentions you never burned those MP3s you bought onto CD for the car.  Swear heavily.  Start burning CDs.

8:45 PM:  Remember you have not made lunch.  Put down Kindle and remove puppy from lap.  Stop burning CDs.

9:00 PM:  Decide sweet potato sounds AWESOME for lunch.  Peel potato into new trash bag.  Nuke potato.  Mash in the tupperware container until you hear a mysterious crunch.  Swear heavily at dwindling container levels.  Transfer potato to new bowl for continued mashing and seasoning.  Toss broken container into trash and watch the FOUNTAIN of potato skins come fluttering all over the god’s damned kitchen.

Swearing while cleaning, while optional, is highly encouraged.

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